JAKOB'S
AGENDA
Six inches of pure terror. The most feared dachshund in the pit. Jakob does not bite - he excavates your favourite classics.
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Jakob's Agenda emerged from the dark tunnels beneath Stouffville in 2025. Fronted by Jakob - a miniature dachshund of uncertain age and unconfirmed origin - the band plays your favourite 80s and 90s hits, reinterpreted as "transmissions from the other side."
The classics you know and love, delivered with dread. From power ballads to new wave anthems, every cover arrives soaked in fog machine mist and existential dread. Fans describe concerts as "genuinely unsettling" and "I lost track of time and when I came back it had been six hours."
Jakob does not do interviews. Jakob does not do meet and greets. Jakob has been known to stare at the same spot on the wall for up to forty minutes before a show.
⚠ WARNING: DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH JAKOB DURING PERFORMANCES ⚠